CascadingDesire

Wings of Light

CascadingDesire — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 15:14:58 GMT

It seems so unreal

how fast you were taken

In mere months

we all walked around

with our hearts slowly breaking.

Before we knew it

we were all in your room

watching your shallow breaths

Holding ours with yours

as you began to pause and rest.

And than comes the long pause

where some part of us

has this hope you will awaken

Our hearts begin to pound

and the tears start to flow

because we know you were taken.

The Sadness is so great

But we're glad you're at Heaven's Gate.

You were suffering

and it was very hard to watch everyday

I wanted so badly

to take your pain away.

Life was hectic

but I became part of you

And now it's silent

without our routine

I don't know what to do?

I walk pretending

I'm all together... and ok

But I'm not

and I'll never be the same.

I miss you already

and it's only been a week

I'm unmotivated, tired

and just want to sleep.

I Loved (Love) you

with every ounce of my being

My tears flow and the same feelings

are repeating.

The helpless feeling

of not being able to fix it for you

And hoping you were truly pain free ...

And my "Love you knew ?"

We pick up the pieces

and try to move on

But you're greatly missed

and we'll forever have that bond.

God has you now

and I Pray you're with Mom

Healthy And Listening

to Hank Williams Songs.

In Loving Memory of

William P. Devaughn

11/25/1950 - 10/22/2017 *10:08p*

You'll Never Be Forgotten

Yearning

CascadingDesire — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 17:31:54 GMT

Why does Life leave no time
For me?
Every thought involves my Mom and Dad
And the lack of time makes me extremely sad.
Praying that God gives me many years
Loosing them is my biggest fear.
I have so much regret deep inside
Silently hurting... I hide
Everything I want and need
Some moments it's like I feel my heart bleed
Outside my veins
My Breath is taken from the pains.
At the end of the Day I have to keep Faith
By doing right it won't be to late.

Tomorrow's Prayer

CascadingDesire — Fri, 21 Apr 2017 17:30:12 GMT

What do you do when life gets to be
too much?
And your own thoughts and feelings
you don't even have time to touch.
When people rely on you so heavily
and it just feels wrong to want to be free
It's like drowning in everyone else's breath and never feeling your own leave your chest.
People need me and I don't have a way around
for the lives I'm caring for I'm inevitably bound.
In the front of my mind is my parents, sister and I
And how much time we've lost
as it slips by.
Its been an eternity
since we've been able to spend time together without worrying...
about something.
And it leaves me wondering what this selfless path brings?
I just want to be able to spend time with them while there's time left
before Life takes them from me
and I lose my sanity.

"God help me find the way
Before it's to late
With all that I give
This can't be my Fate.
Help us stay Positive
And Heal our aching Hearts
There has to be a way
To go Back to where we Start.
Without them there would be no us
My words I leave to your Trust ~Amen"

Channeled resistance

CascadingDesire — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 17:27:18 GMT

Every time I close my eyes
I remember us embracing
And the security of the warmth
of us just chasing...
Life.

Taking the time to breathe each other in
Melting away our problems right then.

It's funny how when you can no longer touch
You forget all the bad things that pissed you off so much.

In a way these Life changes make you mourn
Like a Death and immediately being Reborn.

We're here were just different
Our Love is the same inside
just at a distance.
Which is much harder than it seems
To want to just hold someone
but channel a resistance.

When outsiders look at us
we appear Cold
But trust me we'd give anything
to Hold...
Onto each other
the way you can
But we settle for moments
And put our Heart and Soul
into
This little piece of Land
We now call Home.

Dwindling Time

CascadingDesire — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 17:26:46 GMT

I've always had this hole deep inside
that only my family can fill

But fate seems to always throw so much at me
that my path isn't always my will.

I feel like the hands of time
are slowly dwindling away

I would give anything to spent hrs
with my mom, dad and sister
throughout the day.

It seems the help I give
is always to everyone else

I don't even have time left
for myself.

I see the sadness
and I know
my parents are feeling it too

But we were raised to be selfless
And none of us
no how to do...
What it would take
To be only each other's fate.

I can only Hope there health holds on
And that when we have time
They're not gone.

As we age
We become more aware
Of how little time we have left.
None of us are promised tomorrow
For our will's next step.

So Hold everyone Close
And tell them
how much you LOVE them.

Because while not everything
Is under our control
Words only take a mere breath
And a moment to make
A Soul whole.

Unseen Forces

CascadingDesire — Tue, 03 Jan 2017 17:23:13 GMT

Do you ever feel like Life has you forgetting to Breathe?
100 Mph of juggling, and all you can do is Dodge and weave.

You have to stop and tell yourself someone always has it worse
But you're so exhausted and your emotions feel like there about to burst...
Right out of your skin
Yet you still find a way each day to begin.

No matter how broken or torn you may be
There's a sense that something unseen is following.
It calms and reassures me
But I often wonder why
Not everyone feels this inside?

From very early on I've always felt like loved ones are still here
Protecting and whispering as if to steer
Us
Planting thoughts as we sleep
In our unconscious ever so Deep
But not everyone receives
And it affects how we Believe.

I haven't always felt secure even though I sensed this
I was enveloped in Darkness
Made solely of worries that started with how, why and what's next?
But as I've grown I learned to trust Fate's effects.

My Brain only allows the thoughts...
It will work out because it has too.
We're always training for the next stage in Life , a Renew.

I still have worries from time to time
But it's beyond my control
So I let it become God's Role.

Everything I've been through has taught or prepared me for something.
Some really bad but yet I'm still here
And it's all because of unseen forces that remain near.
Everyone needs something to Believe in
Without Faith the only thing left is hate.

Satan's Echo

CascadingDesire — Sat, 29 Oct 2016 17:19:39 GMT

Alcohol has hurt so much of our family tree
And I thought we were finally free..

But were not
And it hurts because it's already taken a lot.
I really don't know how to deal with it
So with a sad sinking heart I sit
Lost and alone in my own head.
No words strong enough that can be said..
This is how I've spent most of my life
Silently , Looking like the most patient Daughter, Mother and Wife
But I'm so utterly empty in this pit deep inside
That can't be changed so I hide.

Sands of Time

CascadingDesire — Fri, 08 Jul 2016 16:09:01 GMT

Sometimes I wonder how much time I have left in this House?
And the Heavenly surroundings throughout.
I know my Life is in God's Hands
I just wish I could plan.
I try to Live in the present moment and that's it
But every once in awhile I feel this Pit
Deep down inside
I just can't hide
The never ending fear
Of having to Live without you near.
Its been 27yrs since you first held me
A Life without you I can't see.
And than to loose our Home
My Heart and Soul will Rome
Breathlessly
Endlessly searching for you
Daily in the things I do.
Wondering if you're Pain free?
At Heavens Gate
Patiently you wait.
This will be my Day in Hell
Am I strong enough?
Only Time will Tell.

Reaching For Hope

CascadingDesire — Sat, 28 Mar 2015 02:08:03 GMT

Lack of endless time
Sometimes I wish I could hit rewind.
Wondering if I made the right choices
I mean… How well did I listen to my inner voices?
I Love my Family and my Life,
I just wish there was room to grow and strive.
We have survived an endless battle
I know nothing, except this chosen saddle.
Confined each Day is a Repeat
Same air, same choices, same seat.
Life is good I just need some change
So my heart and mind can rearrange.
Reassess my wants and needs
But I know in the end I’d plant the same seeds.
I would like to get rid of this feeling of Doom
And for God to Shine a Light real soon.

~Amen

I found this stuffed in my Grandparents typewriter…
I wrote this feeling so depressed but praying at the same time.
I typed it alone in the Basement one night and forgot all about it till now.
2 months after this my Prayer was answered.
We got our Dream house full of all the Sunshine “Light” I needed.

Blind Faith

CascadingDesire — Sat, 22 Nov 2014 19:21:19 GMT

I hate when the lonely creeps in
And I find myself remembering when…
You used to hold me so very close
We felt like two puzzle pieces that began to roast.
Hot summer nights, I used to complain about the heat
Now I’d give anything to hit repeat.
You see, I miss the feeling of you
Embracing, Heartbeats chasing
Darkness and secrets we knew.
I wish I could share every thought
But it hurts you, so I keep it locked…
Away deep inside
With the scars I hide
Continuing to live within today’s ride.

New beginnings and Hope
Keeping busy to cope…
With our lack of touch
And the Hugs I want so very much.
Making what we have enough
No matter how ruff…It might be
My hearts with you following
Your soul from deep within
And our friendship mends
The pieces that were broken once upon a time
and nothing else matters, it all unwinds.

Sitting looking around our new home
Feeing as if I’m enclosed in Gods Dome.
Peace and warmth emit from these walls
Deep inside…To me it calls.
A familiarity and belonging for reasons unknown.
Is it a Gift from an Angel shown?
And than New Life before spring
This Birth is a Blessing.
Nothing like a Grandbaby’s smile
To help him forget the pain for awhile.
We will all learn to laugh again
I have Faith in what God sends.
Their truly is always a reason
Though it may not be shown within the same season.
Can’t help but think, “I must have passed his test”.
Because my Life is finally beginning to rest.
Utter chaos just isn’t here
For the first time in almost 30 years.
I must of done something right
To be surrounded in such Peaceful Light.
And now I just have to Believe
Sooner or later…Something
Will come our way
So I can sleep by you at the end of the day.

Closing my eyes every night
Praying to never forget the sight
Of your eyes looking into mine
And the emotions you’d find.
And the security behind that glance
Knowing I still made your heart dance.

I just miss you with every ounce of my being
My chest is tight and my heart is pleading
Endlessly…Needing YOU.