I have an insecure feeling sneaking up on me.
Is this really where my partner wants to be?
We used to sit beside each other and talk all day,
now when we actually have time… We have nothing to say.
One night of bad events brings me down,
and now I have to write for these memories are bound.
It’s like I’ve been thrown back 11 years
in all the alcohol, abuse, and fears.
Why can’t these memories just leave my head?
There is still so much that’s left unsaid.
Why is it so hard for me to face the past?
Is there an easy way for me to get rid of it fast?
The more time goes on the easier it gets,
until something happens and makes me face it.
Will I ever have the time to be the Mom I wanted to be?
Or will all my time be taken up by work, and bad memories?
God is there anymore pain in the future for me?
For to be honest my heart and mind can’t take much more,
But I’m sure you already knew this before.
Well my memories are easing down,
so a little inner peace I‘ve found.
For now I’ll be okay,
and when I’m not I’ll write again another day.